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About

Hal is back with a brand-new tour for 2026 with a show that promises to stick it to 'The Man', as long as 'The Man' doesn't stick it back to him.

With his trademark hard-hitting 'take no prisoners' comedy (this is what Hal told me to write!!!) he will be hilariously pontificating on subjects like middle aged dating, social media, the insanity of modern politics and the fact that his daughters love him but don't respect him. He believes that, after you've seen the show, you'll feel exactly the same way.

His last tour was extended four times and he's one of a select number of comics to have done Live At The Apollo three times and the Royal Variety twice, TV also includes Have I Got News For You, The Apprentice You're Fired, Bake Off Extra Slice and Would I Lie To You.

Book Tickets

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Map & Directions

Hal Cruttenden: Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It

Type:Comedy

Palace Theatre, 430 London Road, Southend, Essex, SS0 9LA
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Call direct on:

Tel0343 310 0030

Opening Times

Season (19 June 2026)

What's Nearby

  1. METAL provide innovative, multi-disciplinary residency space for artists from the UK and…

    0.59 miles away
  2. A park with beautiful ornamental gardens, colourful bedding displays, an environmental…

    0.61 miles away
  3. Westcliff Beach (at low water and with suitable footwear) offers lovely walks and is…

    0.62 miles away
  4. The Beecroft Art Gallery holds over 2000 works of art ranging from 17th century Dutch…

    0.82 miles away
  1. Southend Central Museum and Planetarium is home to an exciting selection of…

    0.84 miles away
  2. A stunning Grade I listed Priory and the oldest continuously occupied building in…

    0.91 miles away
  3. Great for long refreshing walks, it offers a relaxing get away, with a number of cafes…

    0.95 miles away
  4. The Historic Cliff Lift has a valuable position in modern Southend, offering a practical…

    1.1 miles away
  5. An outstanding 634 acre site situated off the Old Leigh coastline with a lagoon at its…

    1.13 miles away
  6. The Three Shells beach and Lagoon's central location makes it a popular choice,…

    1.18 miles away
  7. Southend’s No.1 Family Indoor Fun Centre. Home of big entertainment for all ages,…

    1.3 miles away
  8. Adventure Island is the U.K's No.1 FREE ADMISSION Fun Park. Situated on Southend-on-Sea's…

    1.32 miles away
  9. A busy beach, with lots going on including boat trips (subject to tide changes)  Its also…

    1.39 miles away
  10. Museum with photographic display of the history of Leigh-on-Sea, and fully restored…

    1.39 miles away
  11. A busy beach, with lots going on including Emergency Service Information Days and splash…

    1.53 miles away
  12. XL426 is the only Vulcan in the world that is based indoors as well as being maintained…

    1.65 miles away
  13. Nestled in Leigh-on-Sea`s Old Town, its a beautiful spot to watch the fishing boats…

    1.68 miles away
  14. Sealife Adventure Zooquarium is the South-East’s premier aquatic attraction with over 40…

    1.71 miles away
  15. Southchurch Hall is medieval moated manor house, which dates to the early 14th century…

    1.75 miles away
  16. Situated in the rolling countryside of the Roach Valley, the 200 acre country park makes…

    2.26 miles away
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